.I'm missing your laugh. [entries|friends|calendar] ptw11 [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[13 Apr 2008|02:37pm]  never felt sooo miserable. i need a dentist. call me lame but i need my mom too, shed know what to do. :-[ I'm missing your bed

[12 Apr 2008|05:32pm] who would think you could stay in bed for four days, with the exception of working and showering, and still be exhausted? not that i want to sleep my life away, but these past few days its seemed to do the trick pretty well. anyway on another note, i want a place to call home. for years i had that stability and when i thought of home i invisioned that one house with my whole family being there. as everyone grew up and changed, my "home" has changed more times than i can count. i dont know which places id consider that i lived in or which ones id consider that i simply stayed there for a while. idk i guess i just miss the way things used to be. I'm missing your bed

[10 Apr 2008|09:33pm] i need to believe in something. maybe i just need to believe in myself. somewhere along the way i lost any motivation to be something more. i know i have it in me i just need to prove it. prove it to myself and others. hitting such a low leaves you searching for so much more than you could ever imagine. im done with the old. ready to move on. im so scared of change that i think ive been trying to hide from everything. the truth is change is scary, but thats life i guess a bunch of risks that may or may not work in your favor. im tired of being so scared. this is the end of that, it has to be otherwise theres no way i can move on. I'm missing your bed

[10 Apr 2008|07:34pm] [ mood | frustrated ] honestly i never thought id write in lj again. this week however has proven me wrong. i know no one reads this and maybe thats what i find comfort in. theres a lot on my mind and they say its bad to keep it all in. i never thought that was true until now. it feels good to get shit off my mind even if its just by writing it here and not talking to someone. ive been thinking a lot the past few days and i think i need a change. i want to be a better person all around. i feel like a lost soul. im not even sure where to start. ive been thinking about just packing up and going to live with my dad. its definitely not an ideal arrangement and sure as hell not the best place to live, but i feel like i need a fresh start. i dont know how thatd be possible around here. not to mention the fact i dont want my mom to come back to find me here. i know ive been through lotssss of rough times with her but when it comes down to it shes still my mom and i dont want to hurt her. it wasnt my intentions, i needed somewhere to go. she wouldnt see it that way though. now im just rambling but  in all sincerity i need to be different. i want to make a difference in someones life. help people. shit i dont know, do something, be something, anything. i hate to bitch because when it all comes down to it, i made my life like this. i got myself booted from school, i chose to come back here, i chose to live here, i chose to do all those things and look where its gotten me? im not even feeling sorry for myself, im feeling sorry for what ive turned in to, which in my opinion isnt all that much. I'm missing your bed

[09 Apr 2008|12:11pm] [ mood | sad ] ive never felt like such shit in my entiiiire life. i fucked up real good this time. i feel like ive become everything that i hate in this world, and theres only myself to blame. i hate what ive seen it do to a few close to me and yet and i let the same thing happen to myself. sooo stupid. i shouldve known better. i dont want to write all this but ive gotta get it out somehow and theres no one to talk to. i can honestly say i dont have a good though in my head right now. i couldnt if i tried. i wish i could go back in time.. theres a million things id do differently. i cant stand this feeling and i definitely cant stop it. i wanna be different. have a goal for once. something, anything to make myself worth while. I'm missing your bed

[03 Apr 2008|01:17am] Theres this boii && he's like, wiicked cute. He has a beard, and makes me blush biigtiime. I'm missing your bed

[14 Nov 2005|10:22pm] [ mood | bored ] im updating with pictures, some new, some old.. ( pictures.<3 ) I'm missing your bed

[17 Oct 2005|09:56pm] [ mood | ecstatic ] NEW PICTURES FROM TODAY WOOOOO ( anal cunt ) 1 never sleep |I'm missing your bed

[16 Oct 2005|10:28pm] [ mood | awake ] random pictures i never posted... ( bitches ) 1 never sleep |I'm missing your bed

so long sweet summer [28 Aug 2005|06:32pm] [ mood | blah ] ( pictures from taxi night ) 2 never sleep |I'm missing your bed

[01 Jun 2005|03:40pm] [ mood | bored ] from now on: if you're not already added... 2 never sleep |I'm missing your bed

[26 Apr 2005|06:31pm] [ mood | aggravated ] ( SWALLOW, CHOKE, AND DIE ) I'm missing your bed

I LOVE CHRIS [21 Apr 2004|09:16pm] i dont like sex. but if i did, it would be with chris from dashboard which emo singer are you destined to hump? brought to you by Quizilla I'm missing your bed

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